There's no place like gnome

You may have noticed the recent addition to the fruit manifesto: gnomes are evil! We got the idea from our mental neighbours. Here is a list of how they defy fruit:

1) They have no fruit.

2) They talk to gnomes! Their garden is full of gnomes, inside their house is a one metre tall gnome and they talk to all of them!

3) They have fairy lights strung up in their garden 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

4) They complain at us for everything- talking too loudly, having lights on too late ( they can talk) and our dogs wagging their tails against the fence, firing arrows at them...

5) Every single morning, 7:00 on the dot, they have their windows open with the radio blasting out.

6) The old lady doesn't eat anything at all.  Her eyes are luminous and stare-y.  No food ever goes into the house, no rubbish ever comes out of the house.
7) The builder that built their drive disappeared inside the house and never came back out.
8) The gnomes move at night when they think we're not watching.


Death to gnomes.